Since no-one else ever posts anything...
...I'm just going to go right ahead, as usual. Especially because I have some urgent phonology homework to do. My work is spiralling out of control so rapidly that sometimes it's all I can do to suppress my screams of terror. So in the meantime, here follows an excruciatingly-detailed rundown of my weekend.
What can I tell you? Spent Friday standing on a street corner trying to get passing Brits to sign petitions to lobby parliament for improved anti-retroviral access. Newsflash: the poms don't give a flying fuckeroony about Aids. And generally, the only people willing to stop and listen to your shpiel are homeless loons. Oh well. A signature's a signature. And it felt great to be back in the activism saddle.
Friday night was our college guest dinner, to which you invite friends, and then dine in Harry Potter-esque splendour. Bec came, and Seth bussed in from London. My lowest point of the evening: Bec and I get inroduced to this American astrophysicist. Clearly, I have nothing to say to her. The conversation goes as follows:
Her: Oh my god, it's just so great that you guys are both called Rebecca! It makes it so easy!
Us: Yes.
*deafening silence while we all stare at each other*
Me: [in total desperation] So, do you find that you meet a lot of other people called Lydia?
Her: [icily] My name is *Lindsay*.
Me: [total panic] Oh ja ja, I know that! I'm just asking, you know, out of interest! Lydia isn't a very common name! I study names!
It went downhill from there.
Saturday night was the occasion of the 'Hallowqueen' bop, which sounds promisingly gay, but is actually just an excuse for straight guys to wear a dress, because you know they just can't get enough of that shit. Simone came down for the evening, and we had decided in advance that we would go as mummies. (After I rejected Sim's first idea, which was to tie dolls to our asses and go as 'babysitters'. Oy vey.) When it came to the crunch, though, and Bec saw how totally ridiculous and skanky Sim and I looked wrapped in bandages and nothing else in hypothermic conditions, she 'drew the pretty line' and went as a man instead. Just for the record, though, the mummy costumes were bitchin'. In a last minute genius amendment, we wrote 'thank you', 'a million thanks', and 'i owe my life to you' all over them and went as -ta-dah! - the Grateful Dead. Genius, I tell you. Genius.
Sunday (aren't you glad we're almost through?) was pretty uneventful. I saw Borat: The Movie, which was so pantie-irrigatingly funny that I struggle to describe it. (Just WAIT till you see the scene featuring 'The Running of the Jew'. And is there anything on earth funnier than some good clean gypsy jokes?) After which, we attended the South African dicussion group, which happens every Sunday evening, where a motley assortment of South African students at Oxford meet up in a pub and someone leads a discussion on a relevant South African issue. It's a sweet idea. This week's topic was 'same-sex marriage'. Interesting. Some super-religious folks who you could see were struggling to stay vaguely liberal-sounding, and some total jocks (Sample quote: 'Hey okes, did you know that some female dolphins use each other's flippers as dildos?'). It felt just like home.
I do hope you guys have an excellent week. I'm going to at least *attempt* to start this homework. Keep your chins up in the madness of exams, farewells, etc.
Love you lots, and so excited to note that 'll be home in almost exactly a month!
0 comments 2:03 PM Bec
Saturday, October 21, 2006
can you actually just 1:36 PM Bec does London
Yo chaps. I'm in London for the weekend. Good to have a change of scene. This is me in Camden. Hilarious ne? (I promise I'm going to stop posting wanky pics of myself quite soon.)Love, love, love,
me
2 comments 1:36 PM Bec
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
can you actually just 10:45 PM One of Oxford's stranger traditions...
...is to get your photo taken after matriculation (the ceremony where you get officially admitted as a member of the university) with a giant chicken, banana, potato and gorilla, on the steps of the Sheldonian Theatre. So here I am, with my postgrad mates. Don't we look like a bunch of twats? Thank God the gorilla is obscuring me. Have a good week, guys.
0 comments 10:45 PM Bec can you actually just 10:24 PM
What's Crappening?
Hey gals!
So what's happening, seems we're all a little wanked out for now! Life in CT has been hectic, burning the candle at both ends a bit through the weekend but there should be a little break over the next few days. Things are pretty much on track but there are certainly some adjustments to make before we go back to client Thursday after next.
To wank where the wankin' is free: My role in this project has been that of a strategist. I've been championing this role with a buddy, Stephan, and we've been working closely with the rest of our team. The project is going well, but the one area that they keep wanking is for is our solid, incredible, watertight strategy. Back of the net!!!
Can't wait to hear from you all soon. hint, hint - can you actually just...
K-dog, your nizzle, fir shizzle
0 comments 10:24 PM Nick Carraway
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
can you actually just 4:28 PM My big gay night out
I write in the throes of one of the worst hangovers of my life. Despite the fact that I am on a postgraduate scholarship to freakin' *Oxford*, I apparently continue to behave as if I'm a 2nd-year at Rhodes. What self-respecting Oxford postgrad, let me ask you, goes out till 3.30 on a Monday night, gets so fucked she can't walk or talk, and then proceeds to sleep straight through all classes the next day? Yup, folks, that's me. Impressive, ne? Especially on the *second day* of seminars. I have yet to discover what kind of disciplinary action may be taken against me for missing class, but I strongly suspect that such behaviour is, well, frowned upon. Or maybe, alternatively, there is no disciplinary procedure for such a situation because I'm the first person in the history of Oxford postgrads to miss a class. I wouldn't be surprised Man, I'm a fuckup.
Oh well! It was a kak fun night.
So, the LGTBQ drinks. For a start, I'd put in a good three hours of solid drinking in advance, and so had my wingman Konstantin. (K is as straight as it is possible to be, but decided to come along anyway.) So we walk into this room, and there are so many people in it that you can't breathe, and the queues to the bar are worse than some of the busiest Cape Town nightclubs. And they're all men. Okay, let's be fair: 95% men. All very young, very camp, and many of them are absolutely fucking gorgeous. Kirbs, you woulda creamed your broekies. The women (all ten of them)..well, some of them are obviously gay, the rest uncertain. Maybe bi-curious, maybe faghags.
So we start drinking, and man, do we drink. Konstantin, my pimp, recruits this weird Morticia Addams-lookalike to join the group. She's 'on the lesbian end of bisexual'. K keeps hissing 'what do you think?' at me. What I think is that I wish she'd take her freaky goth ass elsewhere. (Actually, that's really unfair. She was perfectly normal looking. I just had more interest in drinking.) Andrew, my other pimp, takes me on a tour of the floor, to scope out the talent. There is none. I meet another young fag, one of Andrew's friends. He says: 'You're really going to struggle at Oxford.' I say 'Why?' He says [and I don't mean to rate, but this is actually what he says] 'Because you're really fit and all the lesbians at Oxford are morbidly obese.' One walks by at that moment. I see what he means.
Then we meet yet another fag. He meets me and squeals 'Oh my god, you’d be *perfect* for my friend Trish!' Excited discussion ensues, with all and sundry concurring. Trish, it emerges, is some bisexual chick who 'much prefers a fannying to a cocking'. I have Trish pointed out to me from a distance. Guys, she was definitely the prettiest woman there. She was very pretty, in fact. Half Chinese, long hair, wearing a nice frock. But she was just…so girly. She was like a poppie. And I know that some of us are quite into the poppies (take a bow, P), but I’m just not. She did nothing for me. Maybe if I’d spoken to her she would have wooed me with her wit and charm, but I just couldn't be bothered. So I called the whole deal off, much to the disappointment of the fags.
And so the evening continued. K pointed out every woman who passed, and said '*I'd* do her' about every single one, until it dawned on me that K is obviously a huge manwhore with absolutely no standards whatsoever. [That's harsh. He's not really. He was just trying to be encouraging.] Eventually, when we were fucked off our tits, the entire gaysoc transferred to this club called PoNaNa, where we proceeded to dance the night away until closing. I didn't speak to a single person other than Konstantin and Andrew, but boy did I have a good time.
And that, folks, was my night.
So, what have I learned about Oxford's gay scene? That it is extremely young and almost entirely populated by men. And as fun as it was, I don't think I’ll be going to another of these shindigs. I'm clearly going to have to start making weekend trips to London to pull.
7 comments 4:28 PM Bec can you actually just 4:22 AM
Oy ghods...
I am much too drunk to blog. Tomirroq.
3 comments 4:22 AM Bec
Monday, October 09, 2006
can you actually just 5:43 PM Much scarier than syntax seminars...
....is the fact that I have just allowed my very camp new friend Andrew to guilt-trip me into accompanying him to the LGBTQ Soc drinks tonight. Oy vey oy vey oy vey! I promise to report back in full.....watch this space! And pray for me!
2 comments 5:43 PM Bec can you actually just 4:45 PM
You guys are like totally the coollest cleverest people in the like world. Please help me, and think of a super cool and anti-lame new slogan for SHARC. Thank you friends.
3 comments 4:45 PM Faisch can you actually just 1:23 AM
Who brought the cat?
So I made it through a whole week in Oxford, and I didn't cry once! Isn't that something?
But talk to me tomorrow after my first syntax seminar and things may well be different.
Am going to bed now - sober, for the first time since I arrived.
Have an excellent week, chaps.
3 comments 1:23 AM Bec
Sunday, October 08, 2006
can you actually just 11:23 AM So Skrunkenated!!!!
If I get this right to post this message, ya’ll neeed to have a little silent applause, because SHIT it is taking allllllllll my energies!!!! Mikes and I have discovered the venue for the romantic summer I imagine… the one where we all recreate Gayzania like it’s never been known before. Said venue is called the “Waiting Room” and is owned by and exists above Café Royale on Long Street. It is so fucking cool I could eat my shorts. The likes of Goldfrapp meet the pixies only to party with The Violent Femmes when its gone daddy gone, love is gone… It’s just the best. So prepare yourself so squeak some serious takkie! Your correspondent in the city by the mountain, Kirblestien von Winkydink, singing out….. (out for the count that is!)
P.s. okat so as this stands circa 1:36am on Sunday morning October 8th, my internet is down. Chances are I’ll post this tomorrow morning. But I vow to change nothing. Let it be a true testament to my drunken state… (1 snack later..)
7 comments 11:23 AM Nick Carraway
Friday, October 06, 2006
can you actually just 3:12 PM Oh annie! you came and you gave without taking
ok I know I am posting twice in one day but this news is worth it...as many of you may recall or simply have heard the urban legend, or seen in detail (sorry kirbs it was for a laugh and ghods was your face funny!) my poor Annies radio died a tragic death somewhere in the middle of a lot of things…the night, the monument, concsiouness and LAST YEAR. Now, a lot of people would point fingers and blame certain other people for abuse and misuse of my vehicle, or of my fragile person but lucky I’m a forgiving sort and not one of those pointing-finger-blame types. So, it is only fitting that on today of all days (the day to be proud of our friend bec) I have finally received my radio code and my darling, my love, my symphony on wheels, my maroon opera, my sweet enigmatic lady of the night...annie has kicked back into life. The moral of the story is if you see me drive past wave cause I certainly wont be hearing you screaming.
2 comments 3:12 PM binxtheminx can you actually just 1:03 PM
Its Friday and officially Bec Day
OK since bec phoned me last night and expounded on all her Oxford bravery I have decided to officially celebrate today after her and her newly acquired semi grown up ways...well done beecky. Now you just have to turn up to one of those there parties...In honour of your pluck * love that word* I am going to purchase a bottle of our mutual friend tass and nurse that babe till she is emptied, right and proper and then proceed to create absolute havoc for the rest of the night... 1 comments 1:03 PM binxtheminx